its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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