I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
