So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
