apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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