Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
