found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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