She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize