I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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