That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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