Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
