She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
