clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
