Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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