is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
