What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
someone threw a dead crab at me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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