my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
