she looked like the before picture.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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