no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
