Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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