yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize