did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
