I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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