our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
