She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize