farters have to be the big spoon...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
