I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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