worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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