If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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