Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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