i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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