My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
