I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
