So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Be still, my beating vagina.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
