We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
