The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
