i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
