Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
