it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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