You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
