Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh god the rape fog is back!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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