mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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