she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You ruined the universe
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
