watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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