dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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