If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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