from now on my penis is your penis
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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