Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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