And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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