Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
