I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I AM VODKA MAN
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
