I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
