Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
