Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
