Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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