jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize