remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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