Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
