Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
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I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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