Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
