These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
