I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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