I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.