Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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