why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
