i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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