i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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