fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
